Sales is too masculine

What you'll learn

• Why macho culture in sales has become counterproductive
• How feminine qualities deliver 3x better results
• The shift from push to pull that your competitors are missing

The problem

Your sales floor reeks of testosterone. Leaderboards, bonuses, competition, and aggressive targets. "Crush the competition!" "Eat what you kill!" The loudest callers get the best leads.

Meanwhile, 74% of your prospects are gathering information online. They only want to talk to you when they already know what they want to buy. And when they finally make contact, they get a pushy salesperson who talks more than they listen.

No wonder B2B buyers hate salespeople.

The masculine approach - dominate, persuade, win - worked in 2002. Not anymore. The market has changed. Buyers have changed. But your sales approach? It's stuck in the pre-Internet era.

Why does this happen?

The push paradigm is dead

Salespeople used to control information. Customer had a problem? The salesperson had the solution. And all information about that solution. The power lay with the salesperson.

Now your prospect googles first. Reads reviews on G2. Asks peers on LinkedIn. Watches demos on YouTube. By the time they make contact, they know more about your product than your junior sales rep.

The power shift is complete. From seller to buyer. From push to pull. But your sales team is still pushing like it's 2002.

Masculine versus feminine in sales

The masculine approach:

• Convincing over listening
• Pitching over asking questions
• Winning over helping
• Individual glory over team success
• Short-term deals over long-term relationships

The feminine qualities that now win:

• Empathy: truly understanding what the customer needs
• Listening: more questions, less talking
• Giving: value first, deal later
• Collaboration: internally and with the customer
• Nurturing: building relationships for the long term

The solution:
Balance in your sales approach

How do we achieve a more balanced sales approach? With the following steps you can make this happen.

Step 1: From ego to empathy

Stop hiring alpha males who can "hunt." Start looking for people who can listen, connect, advise.

New hiring criteria:

• • • Emotional intelligence > Years of experience
    • Curiosity > Product knowledge
    • Problem-solving > Closing skills
    • Collaboration > Competition
    • Growth mindset > Track record

A SaaS company in Utrecht did this. Their new hiring profile: 50% women, focus on consultative skills. Result? Win rate from 18% to 31% in one year.

Step 2: Kill the macho culture

Get rid of:

• • • Gong on the sales floor for every deal
    • "Shark of the month" awards
    • Public shaming in pipeline reviews
    • Stack ranking with the bottom 10% out
    • "Coffee is for closers" mentality

Introduce:

• • • Team wins celebrations
    • Peer learning sessions
    • Private coaching, public praise
    • Customer success stories sharing
    • "How can I help?" culture

Step 3: From sales & marketing silos to revenue team

Marketing throws leads over the fence. Sales complains the leads are bad. Marketing says sales can't close. Sound familiar?

Your customer sees no difference between marketing and sales. For them it's one company, one experience. Organize accordingly.

Practical integration:

• • • Joint revenue targets (not separate)
    • Weekly smarketing meetings (Marketing & Sales together)
    • Shared dashboards and KPIs
    • Marketing on sales calls
    • Sales input in content strategy

Step 4: Measure what truly matters

Stop tracking these KPIs:

• • • Number of calls per day
    • Individual quota attainment
    • Activities logged
    • Emails sent

Start tracking these metrics:

• • • Customer lifetime value
    • Time to value for customers
    • Expansion revenue
    • Customer advocacy score
    • Team collaboration index

Case study

B2B Consultancy Amsterdam - From Wolf of Wall Street to Trusted Advisor

Situatie 2022:

• • • 100% male sales team
    • Hardcore bonus culture
    • 45% annual turnover
    • Customer NPS: -12

Hanneke Vogels (Stryfes) came in and saw it immediately: "This is a boiler room from 1995, not a modern sales team."

Transformation:

• • • New VP Sales: a woman with a consulting background
    • Hiring: 40% women, focus on empathy and expertise
    • Compensation: team bonuses, customer success metrics
    • Culture: from competition to collaboration
    • Process: from pitch to diagnosis

Resultaat 2024:

• • • 40/60 female/male ratio
    • Team-based rewards
    • 12% turnover
    • Customer NPS: +47

"We don't sell anymore. We help customers buy. That sounds soft, but our revenue is up 40%." - CEO

Key Takeaways

• The masculine sales approach is obsolete in the pull economy
• Feminine qualities (empathy, listening, giving) win deals
• Silos between sales and marketing cost you 30% revenue
• Culture beats strategy, always

Next step

Audit your last 20 lost deals. How many lost because you pushed too hard versus pulled too little? The answer will tell you if you have a masculine sales problem.

About this article: At Stryfes, we challenge the status quo. The masculine sales approach has had its time. Time for change. Are you ready?

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